Blue pyjamas

My housemates are 'down' with winter blues and serious girl problems or a disturbing revisit to the panic attack self hating cant see reason alcoholic from last year. Oh yes, it is fun. The atmosphere is murky to say the least, I almost feel guilty for not being as down with them as perhaps I should. Hiding in the boy's (not down) bed seems like a very good plan, but maybe it's better to try and help, though Im telling you guys Im not getting involved in the second one again, NO FREEKING WAY, it sounds harsh and unfeeling but I have NO IDEA what the hell Im doing and once was quite enough.

Love and missing some insane in the GOOD way people. xxxx

A very merry unbirthday pyjamas.

Happy Unbirthday!

I am celebrating with a chocolate cup cake and tea in techno cafe..... Techno, techno,techno TECHNO!! 

Yes I am avoiding work :) xxxx

I say don't you know pyjamas

So if you're lonely,

You know Im here waiting for you,

Im just a (crosshair???)

Im just a shot away from you

And if you leave here!

You leave me broken and scared and alone

Im just a (crosshair??)

Im just a shot then we can die...

What is that word?? Stop mumbling boy where is your enunciation? 

As the person with the "poshest accent I've ever heard mate" It would be nice to hear some enunciation.

And to experience some proactive organisation from someone else,  not that Im perfect.... Im writing this instead of doing CSF....

No more sad posts pyjamas.

Not going to post anymore about my gran, it just makes me sad. I have started a few different posts about it and now I have time to sit and think by myself, without family to help out with or an endless list of things to do, I'm fully realising that she's gone. It's quite hard to deal with.

Baghead pyjamas

Glittery Roses Pyjamas

Tying up 'loose ends' is difficult, cutting short someone's 'life' informing everyone she knew, from the dentist, to the gardener, her best friends from 50 years ago and more recently to the family friends in Carlisle. Each phone call has to be made and the story repeated a thousand times, acceptance of generous condolences and avoiding of the awkward silence of 'what do you say to a person who's just lost their mother or grandmother on christmas day?' seriously, what do you say? there is nothing that can be said to fill that void.

It is only 'proper' that these phone calls are made by mum or her brother, chris, but she can only manage 2 or three a day or things just get too much, I wish i could help more.

Organising the funeral is also difficult and upsetting, but we have commissioned the BIGGEST arrangement of roses with the white ones having been dipped in glitter, which is so like her I cant tell you, she will/would love it:

Mum asked me to read a poem at the ceremony. It focuses on celebrating life rather than lamenting the death which is what we feel, and hope, is exactly what she would have wanted.