Massive lol pyjamas

If only pyjamas

Beer and Ice Cream Diet

As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat.For example, a dessert served and eaten at near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg. F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above. The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168 grams. Therefore, by operation of thermodynamic law, 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert's temperature is normalized. Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories.
Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat,the better off you are and the faster you will lose weight, if that is your goal. This process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the temperature normalizing process. Thus the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12,240 calories (12 oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer.
Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature. The results here are really remarkable, and it beats running hands down.
Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream.We could all be thin if we were to adhere religiously to a pizza, beer, and ice cream diet.
Happy eating!

21st Birthday pyjamas

Yesterday was awesome in some parts and sad and odd in others... Mum had this massive surprise planned in the morning... so I was dragged out of bed WAY too early for a birthday, given lots of nice presents, and some weird ones....including a nice charm of St christopher, on a really thick silver chain. I don't really like the chain, so I'm going to try and get it changed, and I think that's upset mum a bit, but I hope she can see it'd be better if i have something 
I like.... And then we went all the way over to Christchurch, to where the regatta was- funfair and stalls etc, didn't go on them, waited in the car park until an open top bus turned up....and that was my surprise...we were going on a sightseeing tour, complete with commentary, of my home town. So yeh. We spent about 2 and a half hours on this bus, then got off and went for a really nice lunch at one of the other hotels in my chain (so I could get discount) awkward conversation around the lunch table, with everyone on their phones, then had to forgo pudding to get back on the bus to ride home. I suppose she was trying to do something different, but now whenever anyone asks what I did for my 21st I'll have to say I spent the day on a bus.

I'm not insinuating I wanted masses of money spent on me, (talking about money Grandad gave me £40, and uncle chris completely forgot my birthday) I would have been happy with a day in a field with a picnic, but in what universe, does a 21 year old who spent 7 years getting a bus twice a day to school, want to spend her birthday on a FLIPPING BUS!!!! I sound really ungrateful I know.

The afternoon 'party' was not a party, it was mum's friends sitting around a table talking to each other and eating food that we spent ages prepping (on my birthday.) Though when Debbie arrived she did give me a really nice present, which was sweet of her. Everyone else gave me money, which is nice but quite impersonal. 

ANYWAY, in the evening I went to Cafe rouge with my friends, THAT was AWESOME, it was so nice to see everyone, I feel like i've been a flipping hermit with all this work and revision. They were all so chatty, all got on really well, and gave me the most amazing presents, with lovely long messages of love inside every card. I feel so lucky to have such awesome friends, they really saved my birthday :) Got slightly drunk and went home at 12.30 after thoroughly annoying the waitress, who clearly only wanted to go home, but nm! It was lovely, I love them all so much.

Non-pregnant Pyjamas

Dear men with bad pick-up lines,

How do I like my eggs in the morning? Unfertilized.

Sincerely, nice try.

The interface pyjamas

Do you ever notice, that sometimes when people are talking, one person is talking about one thing, and the other is talking about something completely different?

I like to think I can pick up on these things quite well, and usually can step in, in these situations between the Family.

However today I went to the phone shop, and I think maybe phone shop people are a different breed of weirdness with their own language and codes of practice. The guy was REALLY WEIRD. Like not ha ha you're a bit odd weird, which can be awesome- see us for details- but really really, get away from me I would never leave my child within 100 m of you weird.

He had a ponytail, not a problem, tied up in the way that we used to tie ours when we were 8.... with blue and green bands:

  And the inbetweeny sections were really messy, which surely defeats the objective?? Anyway he was also wearing a half undone waistcoat... in a phone shop. BUT his worst crime was definitely that he was a CREEPY SLIMY SPACE INVADER as in one of those people who stands in your personal space, just a couple of inches too close, breathing on you, being too close and making you really REALLY REALLY uncomfortable:

And I don't know If I mentioned that he was CREPY AND SLIMY...... ewwwww. 

Anyway he was also totally useless, and I will be doing my own work to find a new tariff, and probably keep my old phone, even if it is a bit battered...

I also had my teeth removed and re inserted today..... maybe that's why Im feeling a bit cranky, and wasn't in the mood for him.

Finally, I have also remembered why I don't live at home full time....I know you all feel the same... We love you all dearly, lovely family, BUT BALAAGAHAHAGAHAGAHAGAHAGAGAAH. 

That is all. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx